Leadership Loves Frustration
"A leader is a dealer in hope." The wealth in that quote by Napoleon Bonaparte is multifaceted and nuanced. Hope can be both uplifting and oppressing; it can motivate change, or it can risk failure. This was the paradox Frank Darabont revealed so magnificently in his script for The Shawshank Redemption, seizing on Stephen King's pivotal word in the original novella.
Leaders often know what they should do, then often neglect to do it. "If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader." That one is John Quincy Adams, beautifully encapsulating a leader's first order of business: to guide their teams through learning and becoming better. What kind of better will vary, but the frustration in getting them there is constant. True leaders love such frustration.
Learning to embrace the journey
There's a blurry, intimidating stretch between what we are capable of doing and learning how to actually do it. Smart people—or those who define themselves as smart—look at something they "should" already understand and see failure. We judge ourselves for not knowing how to crack a code so many others have already cracked. And as we attempt to work out that code for ourselves, the risk is that others may watch us struggle and decide we're not so smart after all.
Leaders watch their people fight through such intimidation and, instead of judging it, they embrace it. They don't worry about the time it takes an employee to learn something important. And know that the journey between not knowing and achieving is fraught with endless exit doors to give up, check out, or grow too angry to keep trying.
Rather than compound the natural frustration of learning—or grow frustrated themselves that an colleague is "taking too long to figure it out"—smart leaders celebrate the process of discovery itself. Fundamentally, this defines what Napoleon understood; a leader is a dealer in hope.
Story empowerment and investment
As speakers, our goal is to share our own lived experience in hopes an audience might simultaneously learn from us and about themselves. Ideally, enough to make a meaningful change in their lives and improve their individual skill sets. We lead the listener along their change journey by shining our story’s light onto them.
When we present to organizational leadership, our goal is to adeptly share enough information to help that C-suite learn something new, but without them feeling we're trying to "teach" them. That subtle guidance moves those executives from not knowing to knowing, hopefully earning approval and investment from our efforts.
Either way, getting anyone from what they think they ought to know to actually knowing it is a potential minefield that requires careful navigation. Nobody likes to have their deficiencies pointed out. But once we successfully lead someone safely through their learning curve, they emerge with relief, pride, and personal empowerment. This is precisely what a successful talk or client meeting is intended to accomplish.
Bottom Line
The hope a genuine leader provides for their team transforms the frustration of learning something new into the joy of discovering what's possible and achievable. The learner doesn't enter their learning process with that positive perspective, but the leader does.
Loving the learner's frustration comes from knowing lifelong results are waiting just beyond the scary process. As author John C. Maxwell teaches, "Leaders must be close enough to relate to others, but far enough ahead to motivate them." Motivation ushers our people from not knowing to knowing. Relating is walking patiently and supportively by their side each step of the way.
