Welcome Challenge, Embrace Opposition
Travel expert Rick Steves advises tourists to be "militantly humble" and ignore minor cultural slights. "Turning the other cheek is an essential habit for anyone riding (travel's) magic carousel. If you slap back, the ride is over. The militantly humble and stubbornly optimistic can happily spin forever."
It's no secret that had I not pursued a career in speaking, I'd have followed in Rick's enormous and game-changing footsteps. Steve Steves always had a fun ring to it. My own travel history, foreign and domestic, has opened my eyes and gifted me with levels of respect, tolerance, and appreciation my immature younger self could never have discovered inside my comfy bubble.
Professional communication has offered a similar gift, exposing me to people and processes that constantly challenge my thinking and repeatedly oppose my own viewpoints. They make me a better communicator. And they keep me militantly humble.
Two big wins
Any time we choose to speak in front of others, we invite resistance. Simply offering an opinion and asserting it publicly opens the door to alternate thought. That's the point. Also the reason many of us prefer not to step into the spotlight; after all, who wants the fight?
Yet despite being totally normal and expected, many presenters are caught off guard by pushback. They’re surprised, even offended when a question or comment seems to undermine their position or discount their topic authority.
Welcoming dissension isn't easy. But ignoring or negating an audience challenge is never the right move. And slapping back? As Rick says, the ride is over. Once an audience senses weakness or lack of ability to adapt, they lose trust in the message and messenger. But handled correctly, with grace, calm, and clear authority, protest creates opportunity for two surprising wins. First, in how we demonstrate engagement and care. Second, as our chance to show confidence, control, and credibility in the face of doubt.
1: Argument proves Investment
The opposite of agreement is not disagreement, it's apathy. When we hear an idea or face a product we don't like, we've got two choices: change the channel, or lean in harder. Which takes more effort?
A listener who changes the channel lowers their own risk. Interest lost, not another moment wasted, they just cut bait from our talk and move on to the next thing in their agenda. They're out, and there's nothing we can do about it.
A listener who leans in against what they've just heard in our content is choosing to increase their personal risk. Interest peaked, ready to dive deeper, they’re invested and excited to make their alternate case in public. They care enough to engage.
Our perspective on those two options makes all the difference in that critical resistance moment. When someone in our audience speaks up, even to challenge us, it shows our message has successfully been internalized and hit its mark. Win #1.
2: Poise is power
When a listener launches their vocal skirmish during our talk, the intent is to undermine our position, flex their expertise muscle, or drag us into a public debate. If they succeed, we don't. But when we stay humbly and stubbornly optimistic despite the crossfire, we disarm our combatant and prove our power.
Happily spinning requires welcoming the uninvited but valuable input, showing respect and gratitude for that listener's clear investment in us and our presentation. Rather than take the bait, we remove the friction. Leadership flexes its own authority muscle to meet the moment.
Someone questions my assertion, and I thank them for their excellent insight and sharing an intelligent concern or potential alternate approach. I acknowledge them publicly for speaking up, and invite them to stay for a meaningful conversation after my talk concludes, eager to hear their opposing perspective. Challenge diffused, I comfortably move on. The interrupter feel heard and validated, and I've shown solid self-assurance and poised authority to everyone else in the room. Win #2.
Bottom Line
Every time we travel, our abilities to adapt and change course are tested again and again. The more agile we become, the better our adventures and experiences.
As speakers, we're given the chance to practice this same skill each time we guide a team project, meet with a client, or present to our C-suite. When we choose to turn the cheek and spin in the face of challenge, we come out on top. When we slap back, opportunities slip away.
