100 Communication Lessons Learned
This Tuesday empowerment has become my beloved Sunday ritual. I wake up, shower, get dressed, kiss my wife, make a Nespresso, and head for the micro office off our kitchen to write the coming week's blog. When I'm traveling for work or play it's not the same – no ritual. But this Sunday I'm at my desk, tapping out the 100th issue, and realizing three important things.
1. I always look forward to this moment, and for two deeply important and valuable reasons.
2. I started this exercise when my book was published in January 2023, which means I should be on issue #150 by now, so I've skipped 50 Tuesdays in two years. Not great, Steve.
3. Accomplishing 100 of anything that takes time, care, and passion is a milestone. So I'm taking that W rather than wondering where I missed the mark or didn't share my very best.
Let's break these three realizations down, and in a way we might all benefit from.
Lesson 1: Question Everything
I genuinely love what I do. But it's not always easy and not always fun. You know exactly what I mean. Even if we value and appreciate our lives, we can easily lose sight of what's good and over-focus on the 5% not going "our way" rather than the 95% humming along beautifully.
Growing up in a (wildly) Reform Jewish family – including a rogue rabbi uncle – one of my earliest liturgical insights was that faith was to be questioned, aggressively and constantly. It's not enough to just believe in something because we always have; we should continually challenge why we believe it. While I quickly strayed from the temple, I've held onto that belief, and built on it over the years.
Why do I believe what I believe? Why do I do what I choose to do? Why am I passionate about my work? And why do I care enough to share that passion with others?
So most every Sunday morning I kiss my wife, grab my coffee, and sit at a computer hoping to benefit others while reminding myself exactly why I give a damn. Thinking about my choices, doing the research, reading expert opinions, finding the right words, all are exercises in choosing this path again and again. 100 blogs have gifted me 100 chances to question my beliefs and reconfirm my work on a weekly (or less when I'm lazy) basis.
Lesson 2: It’s a Process
No matter how much I may have accomplished to date, I'm always stewing over what I didn't do or 'should have done by now'. That's natural, and I know we all feel this way to some degree. I've "only" written 100 blogs when it should be 150. Blah blah blah.
My friend, Alan Utley, teaches others how to practice not just grace, but what he calls Fanatical Grace; Alan says that "too many (of us) are running on fear, forced performance, and burnout disguised as ambition. But it doesn’t have to be this way." He promotes a mindset that transforms toxic patterns of self-judgment into appreciated personal power. I think of Alan when I'm most critical of myself.
What we've done matters far more than what we've failed to do. Sure, I could spend more hours chasing more clients, lock myself away marketing the business, building the base, increasing the revenue. And maybe I should. But at what cost? Every Sunday I get to give myself grace, a reminder that the wheels are still turning, that I've tried to do some good for others, and that whatever I missed last week I can do next week. Or the week after that. I'll get to post #150 eventually. Or I won't, and that's okay too. (Except not really.)
Lesson 3: Embrace Your Chosen Story
It's easy to slip into mindless routine, do it for the paycheck, same old same old each day because that's the path we've chosen. There are times that's true for me too. But I want more. We all do.
None of us have to continue following the same playbook. We're constantly given forks in the road, opportunities to re-choose or reject the status quo. None of us build an entire career overnight or go from zero to 100 in a single leap; it happens one step at a time. One foot in front of the other as we climb that mountain. And along the way we get chances to stop, take in the view, and decide whether to press on or change course. And here's what most of us don't understand: Either way, we win.
Choosing change is rarely failure. And choosing to continue the current adventure isn't always success. The key is in our right to reassess on a regular basis. To consider our choices up to this point and if we like where they’ve led or we'd rather head off in another direction. These 100 publications to date have been my weekly forks in the road, my cherished chances to stop, assess the view, and opt to continue the climb. 100 times I've embraced my chosen story.
Bottom Line
I close this 100th post with genuine and heartfelt thanks for joining me on the journey. Some of you have been here since blog 1, others hopped into our community later, but you're all part of my ongoing #CorporateStorytelling efforts as I attempt to elevate yours. Even on those Sunday mornings when I'm tired, staring at the screen pondering this week's topic.
I've learned 100 valuable lessons in this forum so far. If I'm lucky, you'll have learned four or five. Sometimes the best lesson is the one we gleaned long ago but forgot, or abandoned, then suddenly a reminder pops into our email server on a random Tuesday.
Other times the best moment of the week is when we're reminded why we are who we are, what we care about most, or how we can be the best versions of ourselves. I try to re-teach myself that important lesson every week in my tiny room off the kitchen. On to #101.
